In The Anal Adventures you talk about your Full Disclosure posts and how you tell us the actual first and last names of partners you've had so that you can "completely air out" your closet. You go on to say "if they should find themselves googled perhaps these posts will help their current or future partners."
Todd had the luxury of meeting the seductive Tori Black at a local burger spot called Juicy Burgers. He asked her if she liked big cocks, and she said "I like big BLACK dicks!" So he called up his boy OG and she got creamed. She is usually only supposed to offer a side of fries, but OG got a side of ass and titties.
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This tactic is so different from mine where, in order to air out my laundry, I work really hard to keep my lover's identity a secret. Even disguising my own identity is more about keeping their's concealed since I really wouldn't mind so much if people knew who I was.
There are two embedded questions here. One is how do you reconcile the ethics of disclosing other people's personal details without their consent? I know you've thought about the morality of other issues so I wonder how you've dealt with this one. Two is have you ever had anyone discover themselves in your blog and what was the result? Did it indeed help with their current or future partners?
You packed a few questions into that last one, which is completely groovy. Complex, multi-tiered questions are great.
How do I reconcile the ethics? It's a great question, and the knee-jerk answer is that I don't really reconcile it. There's a streak of asshole in me, to be certain. On one hand, I do worry at someone I speak of wandering on over here and seeing their name and freaking out; on the other hand, if that happens, I'll deal. In my About Me section, I say this about the Full Disclosure posts:
These particular posts are the ones I use to reveal intricasies of various sexual liaisons I've had in the past and don't expect to ever partake in again. As a big mean shag-and-teller, I endeavor to never leave out sundry details.
I think the heart of my reconciling the immorality of outing other people's activities with me comes from the fact that the vast majority of my Full Disclosure posts are about people I've no intention of bedding again in the future. It doesn't make it right, but it does help foster the mindset in me that since I don't plan on seeing them again, I don't really mind either way. That's the asshole version of Evan's response.
Yet, of all my Full Disclosure posts, I think I've only actually disclosed the first and last names of four of my partners. Of them, one was an utter psychopath, and the other was looking for someone to murder her husband--I think maybe if my writing about them can help warn some other poor schmuck off, I'll have done a good thing.
Most Full Disclosure posts either had no name (as I never got them, or forgot them), no last name (as I forgot them), or I changed ALL of the names out of respect and love for the dead ("Gina" in my Summer of 1995 post).
People who aren't in my past (e.g. Andi, Chrissy, Ian & the boys, etc.) are all only spoken of here by first name. Sure, if someone who knew me personally came along, they'd be able to know who I'm blogging about, but unless I kept my own identity completely secret, they'd figure it out easily enough if I changed the names.
To keep my identity here secret, I'd have to do so on my public blog as well, or have each blog exist on separate accounts. Moving either would be a huge headache for me at this point. Since I put a lot more of myself out there across both blogs, I leave myself open to a lot more positive and negative public & personal reaction. I guess I feel as if I can reconcile divulging names with my morality in part because I don't see any real potential "harm" for the person I'm writing about.
As for part two of your question:
As far as I'm aware, no one I've had sex with has actually come across this blog, so I've no clue as to whether my posts have helped or harmed them. Two people I know/knew personally but not sexually have read this blog. One of them is a good friend and he was extremely (and rightly) upset to see a post by me about a conversation amongst us and other friends that was agreed to be secret. I've never blogged about him at any other time here, and he's asked that I call him "Sam" if I ever do. The other was the closeted Mormon guy. He was extremely paranoid about my blogging about him. Because he's in the closet (whether I agree with it or not) I agreed to change his name to "Larry." When I finally told the guy I had zero interest in keeping up any form of communication with him, he demanded that I not blog about him. I feel I'm being pretty nice by keeping his pseudonym intact.
How's that? Does it leave/create more questions?